This card was purchased but ultimately rejected. We decided you can’t acknowledge the existence of the F word to someone young enough to be your child until they are over 30, unless you are some kind of pot-smoking fun uncle

Good news: Bubs suddenly take interest food. Today. Mama, do you think I’m healthy? Or Is a Luna bar actually nutritious at all? Or Who eats better food, me or Jacky? And—not mean brag, but this: today choose chicken vegetable soup over 7,367g carb vegan chocolate chip muffin during post-camp grocery shop. Holla! Then ask Bigfoot make winter time favorite broccoli soup. 80 degrees outside. 9PM. OK.

PERFECT ROASTED BROCCOLI SOUP FOR CHILDREN WHO HATE VEGETABLES<—(what a good mother!)

Roast the bejeebers out of a sheet pan of olive-oil drizzled chopped broccoli and shallots. The vegetables should become brown or even black in spots. Put the roasted mess in a big pot. Cover with water and add Better than Bouillon Un-Chicken, approximately one glob. Simmer the bejeebers out of this and smoothify with an immersion blender. Throw in one ton grated sharp cheddar cheese. It will melt. Add salt to taste. For soup like the Broccoli Cheese soup at Panera, add five tons cheese and grated carrots. I should add nooch. I never remember. This is the original version of this soup. CARBS: practically zero, right? (Link shows 1c broccoli-cheddar soup has btw 2-800g. carbs. Somewhere in that ballpark. Pretty sure this recipe’s soup is more on the 2g end.)

Srsly. It’s hard to find a good card in Target when the getting well isn’t from a broken leg or something.

Bad news: Weeks ago Dream Babysitter sick. Ketones. Not able babysit, think better next day. Not sure source ketones. Fever. Dr. Doughnut admit Dream Babysitter hospital. Dr. Bigfoot think probably have flu or stomach bug, get IV or whatever treatment normal for ketones. Bigfoot/Bubs return home p. FFL, write to Dream Babysitter mom Just checking in to see how he’s doing. Probably in Aruba with his friends by now but I just wanted to make sure! Mom Unfortunately, he’s not doing well at all. Know now: not diabetes problem. Encephalitis. Encephalitis! Change to bigger children’s hospital special pediatric neurology place.

This total bullshit any child/person, but Dream Babysitter Bigfoot’s perfect diabetes angel—kind, polite, handsome, smell like dryer sheet, such good role model Bubs + Jack. So matter-of-fact/responsible diabetes; also star of mystery dinner theater play/tennis team/hockey team. Body forget illness dance card already full? No time encephalitis—already going steady diabetes.