Suddenly Tomorrow

Like a kid in a candy store! Lego individual blades of grass–among other exotic pieces–lead to an insane amount of sedentary play, and to disastrous blood sugar unless your parent realizes it’s her responsibility to remind you to move periodically

Lego store like penny candy store: fill little tub from pretty-color bins. Also like candy store because cause high blood sugar. When Lego so much fun, child only want sit still/play quietly inside own head. Enter state of flow. Quiet for hours. Bigfoot insatiable greed for quietude. Therefore very much sit still this thunderstorm day.

Today huge difference yesterday–in terms activity. TODAY Bubs’s activity include Lego, Minecraft, reading, Madagascar 3 . Also coughing. YESTERDAY: soccer, swim, boogie board, dig hole, chase seagull, kadima, jackpot, pickle, rescue clam named Phil. Bigfoot important scientific discovery: insulin not work for shit in sedentary person.

After lunch bolus, ask Bubs jump around. Say you don’t really have to work up a sweat or anything, just don’t sit down for a while. OK. Bubs game. Bubs want insulin work too–begin series tai chi moves, yoga poses. Grow ponderous in modified dog pose don’t you hate it when people spell “kids” with a Z to try to make something seem fun? Bigfoot agree, add and what if it’s a kidZZZ club, but they spell “club” with a K? Bubs so disgusted this thought, come up from pose reveal horrified face.

Slow mo all over kitchen, controlled arm movement, slow steps and as the cheeseburger enters the bun, the sun comes up over the ketchup, and the dog finds a noodle narrating moves in Bob Ross voice. Insulin still not work. So many corrections, for example 358; correction. 316, oh how kind of you to make effort, correction; 269, why thank you again, how about try a little harder next time? Correction. 277. Insulin work ALMOST NOT AT ALL on rainy day.

Then sun come out. Then Bigfoot Spouse come home. Stir-crazy Bigfoot leave for run, Bubs and Bigfoot Spouse play basketball. As if all corrections stored up in one square inch bum decide emerge in one whoosh after basketball game: finally, BG normal. Then BG low. Want throttle someone. Not sure who.

Tomorrow see Dr. Doughnut Coro Center 9:30AM. This date creep up on Bigfoot, feel like try lose 5-8 lbs. before own annual physical, then sun rise on day of physical, no place hide. A1C situation not really so similar because Bigfoot never actually try lose weight. Try so hard good A1C.

This A1C going to suck. Bigfoot know. Not pessimism. Fact. So many BG over 200, over 300. Know more recent weeks count more toward A1C, even more recent weeks suck.

Aha! 65 at bedtime. Please let this count extra lot. Dr. Doughnut not consider 65 Official Low but even Dr. Let Me Take My Chances On the Wall of Death Doughnut advise bedtime snack if under 70. So not treat as low, merely low-ish for time of day: peanut butter cracker, half glass milk. Bubs snuggle under duvet after snack, eyelids heavy. Smack lips, I love being low.

BFOOT: Whaaaat?

BUBS: I love being low. I mean, it feels bad, but I get a tasty snack

BFOOT: But you know you can always have a tasty snack anyway (that not true–would never let eat in bed for normal people snack)

BUBS: I know, but the taste is just so tasty at night in bed

If this were an endocrinologist’s supply closet, and these were the colors for complimentary Multiclix, I’d be all over the kelly green. In real life those are blades of grass Lego, and they are pure evil.

Bigfoot love Dr. Doughnut but dread tomorrow. Dread A1C. Dread whole thing except for if can score new free Multiclix because jammed up favored marine blue one with sand yesterday.

Also dread what if Bigfoot ever-so-casual ask Dr. Doughnut if think cough sound worth inspection and Dr. Doughnut slam clipboard down on exam table, say I am so sick of you leeches! I’m his goddamn endocrinologist, not his pediatrician! Get a fucking clue! Or what if Bigfoot ask I heard something about a letter I should have for air travel with the pump? and what if Dr. say Ask a fucking nurse! God! No wonder his A1C is 17. You are such an IDIOT. Better ask for complimentary Multiclix first.

*******

NB: I should also have said that we love our endocrinologist. She is really very kind. These mean conversations are strictly limited to my imagination. My metabolism runs on anxiety.

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10 responses to “Suddenly Tomorrow

  1. Diaun

    I’ve had the same discovery! “insulin not work for shit in sedentary person.”

    Like

  2. We have the same child, I swear.

    Good luck with the A1C, ours isn’t until September and I’m pretty sure we are screwed being as how we spent the entire month of June with a 240 average.

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  3. I looked it up. 240 average is a 10! A TEN. Oh my gah. I hope we can at least get in the single digits. This is a disaster. I’m going to ask what it was when we were in the ER last summer—just to show myself some kind of improvement.

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  4. Wait–you have until September? Just make sure you are perfect from tomorrow until then.

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  5. Dear GOD woman…love the part where in your head the doctor calls you and your family “leeches”…and calls you a “fucking idiot”!!! Seriously?!!! LOL. Deep breath. It will go well. And…if you aren’t happy with where Bubs’ A1C is … luckily you get another shot to improve it :). Love you sweet Big Foot! xo

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  6. mollyjade

    Is it possible that Bubs has a cold and that’s what’s causing the stubborn highs?

    Like

  7. Linda

    YOU pay HIM. HE’s the fucking Doctor, right? Just announce, “WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON HERE! WE’RE DOING EVERY DAMNED THING YOU TOLD US AND THIS IS WHAT WE GET? -A TEN?!!! YOU’RE FIRED!” Maybe you can practice the scene with Bigfoot Spouse before, perfect the gestures, facial contortions.

    Kidding of course, sort of. Before A1C it was so easy too fool silly doctors. Fake the log book. But everything you say is so familiar. I don’t get why the pump’s ISF is a fixed ratio when it should increase as BG’s get into higher #’s?? . I always have to guesstimate in my head and hope for the best.

    Setting the bar low offers opportunities for future rejoicing.

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  8. MY METABOLISM RUNS ON ANXIETY

    i am getting that on a fucking shirt.

    did you know there’s a summer camp about LEGO + YOGA? seems like it might be relevant to bubs’ interests. hope all went well with A1C.

    Like

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