Each evening, I put this dress on at 9:30PM and hope to get laid. Just kidding! Only on May 13th. Just kidding!*

Today double-occasion for Bigfoot. Mother’s Day celebrate 7AM-9:29PM. Wedding anniversary celebrate 9:30PM-9:43PM.

Children bedtime 8PM. Read this amazing book Wonder, read for too long, everyone awake, read-read-read, book so, so, so good. Then: my site is coming out. Bigfoot take look, aw, it’s only the fabric part peeling off a little bit, the needle part is fine. It’s sturdy. You don’t need to change it. You’ll be OK. Bubs no, please! It’s itchy. Can’t keep fingers away, scratch around loose bandage-y part. Not bode well longevity this site.

Spouse change site while Bigfoot retreat kitchen, make margaritas in orangeplastic micro-shaker free gift with small bottle Cointreau. Squeeze limes, salt on plate, lovingly create elixir. Spouse return. Toast, no word, only cock eyebrow at other person. Then hear I feel low.

81. That low for bedtime. Peanut butter cracker, glug of milk. Brush teeth. Plan test again midnight or so. Good night, Bubs. Sweet dreams.

Back to anniversary: Sip drinks. Smile. Twelve years, still feel lucky know this person. Kind of smug. Hellooooo? I feel sort of low. Not want believe.

Hello? Hello? I feel kind of low up here!

Really? OK, we’re coming. 60.

Bigfoot decant 2 oz. lemonade (8g carbs). Bigfoot Spouse are you sure you don’t want to give him 15 grams? Bigfoot ordinarily bristle suggestion overtreat, because then stay up correcting high, but since anniversary, maybe this qualify romance, i.e.: darling, let him go high. For me. For us.

Meanwhile, Bigfoot totally pissed off friend commit suicide. Ruin weekend. Not because sad. Just angry and agitate and distract. Not able work. Not able cook. Not able remember if speak assorted cousins-in-law at father-in-law’s retirement party, not remember if eat moussaka or couscous or Narragansett Light or Narragansett Summer Ale or what. Not able succeed shop grocery, always forget kosher salt. All who urgently need depart/wish leave good impression, Bigfoot recommend against jump off bridge.

Read this book!

Meanwhile meanwhile, one good thing in world this book Wonder. Bubs, Jack, Bigfoot, Bigfoot Spouse all love be in this book. Want live in book. Maybe this book especially good for diabetes family, because 10-year-old protagonist severely deformed face can be metaphor for deformed pancreas/anything make person feel different. This like Lucy Grealy’s Autobiography of a Face but for children, but Bigfoot think everyone read Wonder love Wonder.

124. Bown-chicka-bown-bown.

*This caption structure stolen from Writing Out Loud