This day end Lazer Gate party. End again car ride home, Pump It song repeat, reenact JustDance3 choreography (Fall River stoplight companion admire very impressive sight.) End again spouse miss exit, drive East Providence for bonus opportunity Pump It dance. End again drop friend off his house, sweet dog run out snuggle Bigfoot knees. End again pull in home driveway. End again realize not yet open birthday gifts. End again shower. End again realize need remove pump. End again inject Lantus. End again BS #80. End again glass of milk. End again notice never unpack lunchbox. End again dog diarrhea. End again surprise find out basketball game 8AM tomorrow, season not actually end although obtain congratulatory achievement ribbon week ago. Still in head pump it (LOUDAH!) End again BS #87. End again peanut butter cracker. Never end.
Pump It excellent theme song; this insulin pump day one. Only pump saline. One week saline. But wear pump.
Bubs love pump. Terrified cannula insertion, but get over quickly. Love pump. Want people notice, hope casual passerby might venture ask who is that young man and what is that enchanting gadget?
Bigfoot hate pump. Hate many, many feature this pump. Hate reminder/chime noise. Hate automatic return main menu if do certain move. Hate sticker for body–require improvised rigging or not adhere. Hate up-down button scroll through menu. Not even click wheel! Approximately 1993 Gameboy Tetris level sophistication. Hate complicated fill cartridge. Hate giant needle suck in insulin. Hate flick air bubble. Hate word “tubing.” Hate acronym “ISF” thrown around as if standard expression—hate “insulin sensitivity factor” thrown around as if common parlance. Bigfoot never learn ISF concept. Just other expression correction factor? Who zoomin who?
Hate alleged really cool feature Animas teacher rave: Did you know about the integrated Calorie King databank? You do know the Calorie King, that great book we all love? Bigfoot hate Calorie King–immodest yellow crown, expression on face, slogan, book. It true, Animas pump have Calorie King favorite 500 Arby’s, Burger King menu item pre-programmed into EZ-carb feature—how grand! Bigfoot hate “EZ” for easy. Hate educational DVD pump demo–spokesmodel many close-up hands/pump, fingernail not even 100% clean/trim. Hate pump homework. Hate practice button punch. Hate need teach Dream Nurse use pump Monday. So soon! Hate pump.
Love pump, know best possible health choice from paltry/shitty options. Love pump, Bubs excited wear. Bigfoot also love dogs, love bed, love sleep, faith better tomorrow.