Remember: the sweater reflects poorly (or well) on the douchebag who puts it on the dog, not on the dog himself

How decide what advice follow?

Before current era, Bigfoot biggest life challenge dog behavior modification. Bigfoot dog emotionally disturb, bite mailman. Maybe also plumber apprentice. Go crazy on leash when see other dog. Bigfoot become emotionally unavailable when begin list all issue of concern this dog. Always think, “One day I’m going to write them all down, read the list a few times, and then burn it.” Not yet find courage make list. Spend much time, money try train dog relax.

Many have idea for best way help dog. One category persons tell Bigfoot distract dog with food, happy baby voice. Category two persons tell Bigfoot yell “no!” or growl in mother dog voice, grab skin of neck. Only one man fall into category three. This man tell Bigfoot bite dog on face.

BFOOT: (laughing, trying for sincerity) Ha ha ha

FACE BITER: Why ya laughing? That’s the only way they learn. How else is he gonna understand you?

BFOOT: You mean bite my dog on the face?

FACE BITER: That’s how we train all of our dogs, and they don’t give us no problems

BFOOT: But our trainer says any kind of punishment like that will only make him worse. I asked if I could spray water on him when he barks at the mailman. She said he’ll just start to associate the water with the mailman, and it will make him hate the mailman even more

FACE BITER: Yeah? Your trainer said that. Well, how’s that working out? Try it. He’ll be better in a week. Bite him pretty hard, right on the nose

BFOOT: Wow, okay. That’s cool! Thanks!

Not see Face Biter many months, forget exist. Today at pool, Face Biter walking toward Bigfoot. Big rush brain flood all stupid things Face Biter going to say regard Bubs’s diabetes. He’ll probably ask me if Bubs ate too much sugar. Probably work in something bad about Michelle Obama. Probably mention a special diet a friend of his uses instead of taking insulin.

1/3 of a Hershey bar (9g carbs) must be administered immediately before swimming

Nope. Face Biter not acknowledge Bigfoot presence.

Meanwhile, Bubs high every morning. Dr. Doughnut recommend increase Lantus 7 units, increase breakfast insulin 1:12. Okay. Three days try this, no help. Still high in morning. This a dawn phenomenon? The dawn phenomenon is the end result of a combination of natural body changes that occur during the sleep cycle and can be explained as follows. Between 3:00 a.m. and 8:00 a.m., your body starts to increase the amounts of counter-regulatory hormones (growth hormone, cortisol, and catecholamines). These hormones work against insulin’s action to drop blood sugars. The increased release of these hormones, at a time when bedtime insulin is wearing out, results in an increase in blood sugars. These combined events cause your body’s blood sugar levels to rise in the morning.

Or this Somogyi effect? The term refers to pattern of high morning sugars preceded by an episode of hypoglycemia (with no symptoms). Your blood sugar may drop too low in the middle of the night, so your body counters by releasing hormones to raise the sugar levels.

Either too many or too few Lantus unit, current bet on too few.

Bigfoot want family travel Children with Diabetes conference Philadelphia. It in March*. Sound wretched: spend day learn advanced pump technique, how use CGM, other dreary topic. But one night get free time, go out for dinner Philadelphia. Bigfoot imagine that part fun, maybe family so relieved escape diabetes miasma, really enjoy each other company. Bigfoot love feeling of trapped in conference but play hooky. Conference hotel have pool. Maybe meet other hooky family equally loathe diabetes topic, have great time, laugh so hard tears run down leg.

*It in February.