A keytone---not actual size.

386. This a very high blood sugar, and it Bubs’s before dinner today. This following URI Political Science 50th Anniversary Party.

Ask Bubs to pee on a strip—he look so worried. “Am I going to have ketones?” Tell him well, we’ll see. Bigfoot spouse and Bigfoot follow Bubs to toilet. Hover-hover-hover. Count fifteen seconds, see ketone portion of strip not change from color of 1970s stewardess Avon foundation makeup. Blood sugar portion of strip change color like gangbusters, but doctor administering Chuckydoll study say ignore that bit.

This mean blood sugar meter not working—wait, or—possible have blood sugar this high with no ketones? Not even Trace Ketones or Small Ketones. Something wrong.

Also, why blood sugar high after URI party? Give plenty insulin cover University Dining Services BBQ chicken, Diet Dr. Pepper, 2″ square bakery sheetcake and 3″ x 2″ brownie. Bigfoot consult multiple entries on MyFitnessPal, obtain data feel confident, do injection. Maybe problem is Bigfoot and Bigfoot spouse not clear on size of imperial inch. Maybe Bubs getting flu.

Coincidentally as Bigfoot first consider this possibility, Jack ask, “What’s that disease, it sounds like Illinois?” Bigfoot know what he mean immediately, “Pneumonia?” But Bigfoot not psychic—it proven fact. Last week in Shaw’s have strong urge buy loathed Rhode Island Lottery Scratch Ticket. Theme baseball. Feel very drawn to this, even though hate whole scratch ticket scene. Decide follow intuition. Bigfoot team score FIVE. Opponent score SIX.

Bigfoot never enjoy University parties, only attend because father-in-law very popular professor retiring, many people make speech about he so awesome. These parties full of 1960′s era women who think it a shame Bigfoot not have big career in traditionally masculine field. During party recap/recovery time Bigfoot spouse ask, Who in particular do you mean? What did they say to make you think this? Bigfoot think only of one woman, not even in Political Science department, incident circa 2005, Bigfoot never recover, maybe overgeneralize about this demographic. Basis maybe not sound, but feeling still true.

Butter resting in shrub with alter ego, Trace, the crackerjack hypoglycemic awareness dog.

Bubs and Bigfoot begin research hypoglycemic awareness dogs. Seem exclusive South Dakota, Colorado, Northern California, and Virginia. This interesting to know. Why South Dakota so advanced? Probably because drink so much factory farm cow milk.

Also learn there no license for service dog accompany person into library, cafe, etc. Tempted pretend Butter a diabetes dog, get him little vest, take him places. Too bad he have history bite mailman. Maybe he go by pseudonym in public No, this isn’t Butter, this is Trace Ketones, our diabetes dog. Please don’t pat him. He’s working.